Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dreams

The other night I had an interesting dream. I was shopping with an old family friend from church, when she told me that all my old youth group friends were pregnant (or their wives were, in some cases). It was a shock, since (in my dream) one of these couples had only been married a couple months! In the dream I was shocked and upset, and I felt left out, since I wasn't pregnant too.

This dream really made me think, though. When I woke up and told my husband about it, we laughed about it. I think what really shocked me about the dream, however, was the fact that I felt so left out and was upset that I wasn't pregnant, when I know, in the back of my mind, that we aren't ready to have a baby.
I felt, especially with the last couple that (in my dream, but not in reality) have only been married a few months, that I couldn't understand why they were having a baby now. Then I realized something. Just because it's not the right time for us to have a baby, doesn't mean it's not the right time for someone else. We have discussed this, and decided what works for us, which definitely doesn't mean this works for everyone else.
I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about this, and it has helped me a lot. Sometimes I feel like, all around me, people are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or raising babies. When I'm jealous, or anxious to do what everyone else is doing, I have to remind myself that what is right for them is not right for me.
I also find myself judging people who decide to get pregnant or want to get pregnant soon after getting married. Don't they want to enjoy time together? Don't they want to be a couple, before they're a family? This, too, is simply me putting my views on them.
Life isn't the same for everyone, and it's not a game, with achievements we need to cross out. I feel like I need to remind myself of this often, but when I do I realize just how happy I am to be where I am right now in my life.

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