Monday, October 24, 2011

Anxiety...and the bible

I've had this verse on my mind a lot recently, and it keeps popping up. I think God might have something to tell me.
First, my friend Elspeth left me a comment quoting it, and encouraging me on a previous post. Then Kelly, of Kelly's Korner fame (who, obviously, knows nothing about me) posted about this verse. Like I said, I'm pretty sure God is telling me something.

I've had this post wandering around in my mind for a while (even before Kelly posted basically what I wanted to say!) and I'm finally sitting down to write it. I was thinking about this verse in my journal, and most of what I'm about to write I also wrote there...but I'm sure I'm not the only one with anxiety, so I thought you could benefit from it too.

Anxiety is a new symptom to my depression, or maybe it's just a newly realized symptom. I used to call it paranoia...that I was paranoid about losing my job, for example, but when I explained it to my psychiatrist he said it's anxiety. Even though my depression is under control right now, I still have more bouts of anxiety than I'd like. I don't agree with Kelly's comment that it's a sin, and disobeying God because we aren't trusting in him...mostly because I can't really help it.
Anyway, this verse, one of my favorites, has helped me a lot in dealing with my anxiety lately. I'm anxious about my job, I'm anxious about my decision to go to (or, recently, not go to) school {I'll get into that in another post}. I'm anxious about how my life is playing out, and what I want to do with my life, and how to get where I really want to go.
But God tells us not to be anxious, but to pray about it, instead. We're to pray with, of course, thanksgiving (how hard is that when we're anxious??) and petition God to help. And he does, but not how we'd like. The second verse, which I feel like most people skim over, promises peace. Peace which surpasses all understanding. Peace we can't even begin to imagine.
It's important to note that God doesn't promise us an answer to our prayer (although I do believe he will answer it, when the time is right). He doesn't promise us that everything will work out just the way we want it to. Instead he promises us peace, so we can wait patiently one His timing, not ours.

I wonder every single day why He has me in this terrible job. Every. Single. Day.

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