Holiday blues

It has not been my intention to completely ignore my blog over the past week or so, but I have felt like I've been pulled in so many different directions that simple tasks like planning dinner and cleaning out my email inbox was so overwhelming that my blog was pushed to the side. All around me I have been reading Thanksgiving recaps, seeing people put up trees and Christmas lights and it's overwhelming me. It's stressing me out because I feel like I need to be there too...and I'm not.

If I was to be perfectly honest with you, I would tell you that I'm just not feeling this Christmas season. Due to a combination of non-consumerism and a lack of money, we don't have very many Christmas decorations this year. We have stockings (hung by the fireplace with care, of course) and a table runner, both thanks to my mother-in-law (I do so love when she visits!) and the Christmas tree that Geoff bought his first Christmas out here. I'd love to blame the lack of decorations for my lack of Christmas spirit, but I don't think that's it.

I'm trying to remain upbeat, I really am, but to be honest, I'm missing my regular routines...a regular routine that I haven't had in years. Do you ever wish you could just go back and relive a year again? If I could I would relive 2006. It was the year Geoff and I started dating, the year I started working at the newspaper and the year that I was happy, before my depression set in for the long haul.

It's not 2006, however, it is 2010. It is the year I got married, the year we bought our house, and it's been almost a year since I graduated with my masters. It has been a good year, even if I can't always see it. So this year I'm going to put up our tree, return the phone calls I've been avoiding, enjoy my job and the creativity that I am discovering in finding frugal, yet thoughtful gifts for my friends and family. I'm going to curl up in bed with a warm kitty between my feet and a husband to cuddle with. And I'm going to enjoy it, because one day I'm going to miss the simplicity of my life right now.