Windows, doors and sledgehammers

No, this post isn't about another household project (though I do have a couple of those on my to do list!) but rather a quote you may have heard: "When God closes a door, he opens a window."

I was thinking about this quote the other day. I believe that God has both closed and opened many doors for me, especially in the past couple of years. I've lead a very transient life recently, packing up my VW Beetle and moving far too many more times than I'd like. This last move was my sixth move in 2 years. For a girl who, aside from college, had moved three times in 24 years, this was definitely unusual.
When I was thinking about this quote, however, I was wondering if I actually was supposed to move six times in the past two years. Maybe God opened a window for me but I kept staring at that door, waiting for it to open again. When it didn't I took matters into my own hands, taking a sledgehammer to the door that He had shut on me and going through anyway.
I seriously hope that God has a sense of humor, or at least can accept that I can be an idiot at times. For example, moves one and two. While I will never regret moving across the country for a man I was dating, I wonder if this is really what God wanted me to do. I put myself into a lot of debt, put unnecessary miles on my car and all for what? Because I was bound and determined to go through that door, sledgehammer or not. Consequently, I ended up driving that VW Beetle from Massachusetts to Washington...twice in 2 years. In retrospect it doesn't seem like a good idea, though at the time it was about the only thing I could imagine doing.

All this came about because I'm still unemployed. Ten months ago, heck even 5 months ago I was still looking for library jobs. Today, I head down to Peets Coffee to turn in an application. In my paranoia/over-thinking mind, I'm scared. Scared that I made a mistake. That I went plowing through that closed door because I was bound and determined to get my degree in Library and Information Science. A degree that is now preventing me from getting any job, library or not, because who wants to hire someone with a masters degree for a receptionist job?
And yet...God provided for me to go to school in Alabama, through an amazing assistantship for all three of my semesters there. While I, on the one hand, don't understand why I can't get a job to use my degree, I know and understand that I was supposed to do that...right?
It's hard to understand God's ways when I am unemployed, laden with $30,000 in student loans, stuck at home and stressing about money. I know He has a plan...but why can't He be a little more obvious about it?
Life shouldn't be so complicated.